Oh no, it happened again.
You swore the next time you felt triggered, that you'd take a breath. Be in the moment. Appreciate the trigger and see it for what it is - an opportunity for growth - instead of foaming at the mouth while you explode into white-hot rage.
As the feeling dissipates (because it always dissipates), and you emerge from the wreckage of your non-existant emotional stasis, you feel ugly. Inside and out. It felt good though, in that moment, didn't it? It always feels good to surrender to the molten lava within our bodies as they react to something external, whether it be something that makes us feel good or bad.
What are emotions?
Our bodies have their own consciousness; they are human, of Earth. Your emotions are of your body/mind, not your soul. The emotions that get caught in our bellies and chests, that stay at the forefront of our mind - you know the feelings I"m talking about - are deliciously human, which is why it feels so good to give into them.
You cannot separate yourself in this incarnation from your humanity; the two are linked for as long as you inhabit your vessel. And because your vessel - your beautiful human body - is of Earth itself (and Earth is of the Universe), I'm here to tell you that there is nothing wrong with feelings or emotions. The planet itself feels and emotes. And because both it and you are made of mostly water (and water is exceptionally sensitive to feelings and emotions), it makes sense that this is part and parcel of our Earthly existence.
Climbing down from the pedestal
The only reason you may feel bad after getting worked up about something, however, is because there is a spiritual pedestal upon which has been placed those who have renunciated and transcended human emotions. And while there is nothing wrong with that (after all, each one of us walks our own path toward enlightment, deepening in our awakening in our own time and through our own methods), it can also create a barrier between spirituality/enlightenment and those of us who are caught in the golden web that is this life who would also seek to expand our awakening.
We cannot all be the Buddha or Jesus, but that doesn't mean that the rest of us cannot also be enlightened.
I mean, did the ascended masters even have kids? A toddler to reason with? Multiple tantrums in Walmart?
Did they have jobs and bills to pay and mouths to feed (without using magic)?
What about dogs to walk? Poop to scoop? Toilets to scrub? Aging parents to care for?
Did they have social media to suffer, a 24-hour news cycle that constantly inundates us with the horror and suffering of our fellow humans?
We cannot get through this life without feeling and emoting, because we are meant to feel and emote. Our emotions and feelings, which are of this planet and thus natural and beautiful, are a critical function of our growth and journey.
Suffering, enlightenment, and losing your shit
Suffering - which is usually conflated with feelings and emotions - is an individualized spectrum, meaning that we should not compare our suffering to another and vice-versa, and neither should we compare our paths to enlightenment. Enlightenment, which is really just a deep, heart-centered knowing that we are all One, should be thought of as being more of an expansion into higher awareness/consciousness instead of a single stage or entry point because there really is no particular entry point. Enlightenment is what happens as you walk the path and slowly become aware of your surroundings. You would be hard-pressed to name what exactly you saw first that made you start to wake up, because it is really a combination of everything and nothing that brings your higher consciousness into this human experience.
Our emotions, our suffering, is what we need to help bring about this transformation. The hard things, the amazing things, the regular, day-to-day things with their trials and tribulations, are all a part of it. No matter where you are on your journey, you are exactly where you need to be. And if you're losing your shit, but also asking whether you can also be enlightened while losing your shit, guess what the answer is?
Yes. 100% yes.
Human and Higher Consciousness
The person who embodies the emotions and burdens of this human existence while also recognizing the truth of Source/Oneness and the un/reality of this beautiful illlusion is an alchemist. The key is to simultaneously go through the motions of the emotion (human consciousness) while knowing that this is all a part of it, the great game, the cycle of growth and transformation (higher consciousness). When you do this, you exist on two different planes at the same time, which is deeply profound. Bringing your higher consciousness into being alongside your human consciousness means that you don't need to have yet had a profound spiritual experience to help you see the truth, because you're already waking up to it. You're already awake in the dream.
Your heart already knows the truth
The seed was already planted before you were born, and by asking yourself these questions, by reading posts such as this one, you are already walking the path and starting to notice your surroundings. You are deeping into your awakening and enlightenment, and listening to the whispers which are growing louder. Your heart is open, and you are an emtpy vessel to receive.
So don't be afraid to lose your shit. It is all part of the process!
